


A Boaring Story

by Katzedecimal



Series: The Kitchen God's Strife [4]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: A Bit Not Good, Brotherhood, Cannibalism, Cooking, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-08
Updated: 2012-10-08
Packaged: 2017-11-15 21:08:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/531736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katzedecimal/pseuds/Katzedecimal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A delicacy at the specialty market makes Sherlock give one more try at cooking for John.  ....with the usual results.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Boaring Story

**Author's Note:**

  * For [joudama](https://archiveofourown.org/users/joudama/gifts).



[19:17 SH: I give up.]

[19:20 Mycroft Holmes: On what?]  
[19:20 Mycroft Holmes: Oh, did you try cookery again?]

[19:21 SH: Yes.]

[19:21 Mycroft Holmes: What happened this time?]  
[19:22 Mycroft Holmes: Hang on, let me go to the Strangers' Room first.]

[19:23 SH: I knew I shouldn't have. It just keeps going wrong.]  
[19:24 SH: But I saw it at the specialty market. Wild boar.]

[19:25 Mycroft Holmes: Really? Lovely! I shall send my cook around to get some. What did you do with it?]

[19:26 SH: I made Cook's Spezzatino di Maiale.]

[19:27 Mycroft Holmes: Delicious. John did not like it? Or something else had to have happened. What?]

[19:28 SH: I don't know.]  
[19:28 SH: He just stared at it for several minutes.]  
[19:29 SH: Then he looked up and glared at me, said "Sometimes I think Donovan's right about you" and then he walked out.]  
[19:30 SH: I don't know what I did wrong.]

[19:31 Mycroft Holmes: You told him it was boar, yes?]

[19:21 SH: Of course.]

[19:22 Mycroft Holmes: Alright. How did you cook it? Did you deviate from Mrs. Waterhouse's recipe in any way?]

[19:22 SH: No. I even sourced the same Marsala.]

[19:23 Mycroft Holmes: Alright. How did you serve it?]

[19:24 SH: On a plate.]

[19:24 Mycroft Holmes: Seriously, now. With what did you serve it?]

[19:25 SH: I braised some broad beans with thyme and paired the meal with a Chianti classico.]

[19:26 Mycroft Holmes: I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that you have never seen "The Silence of the Lambs," yes?]

[19:27 SH: What's that?]  
[19:29 SH: Still there?]

[19:30 Mycroft Holmes: Sherlock, if you're going to continue to conduct experiments with human remains, and continue to cook, then I advise you to research depictions of cannibalism in popular media.]  
[19:31 Mycroft Holmes: Thank goodness it wasn't liver.]

[19:32 SH: Don't be ridiculous. John hates liver.]  
[19:32 SH: And what does cannibalism have to do with it?]

[19:33 Mycroft Holmes: Pigs are frequently used as an analogue for human flesh in experiments.]  
[19:34 Mycroft Holmes: Also, anecdotes indicate that the Fijians referred to human flesh as "long pig", in reference to their historical cannibalism.]

[19:35 SH: So? What does that have to do with me?]  
[19:35 SH: Or with my Spezzatino di Maiale?]

[19:37 Mycroft Holmes: You might consider this video clip

[19:44 SH: Oh.]  
[19:45 SH: You think John might have thought]

[19:46 Mycroft Holmes: It is conceivable that he did consider that a possibility.]

[19:46 SH: As if I ever would!]  
[19:47 SH: That's really insulting.]  
[19:47 SH: John should know better by now.]

[19:50 Mycroft Holmes: I quite agree.]  
[19:51 Mycroft Holmes: I shall be arriving shortly.]  
[19:52 Mycroft Holmes: Wild boar Spezzatino di Maiale and braised broad beans? The good doctor doesn't know what he's missing.]  
[19:53 Mycroft Holmes: And don't you dare say a word about my diet.]

[19:53 SH: Alright.]


End file.
